Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Great TV Debate of the 21st Century

Having a child is a conundrum. It's basically one big mind boggling experience after the next. Why is he not sleeping? Why does he suddenly hate pancakes? Why does he insist on banging his head on the floor when he's angry? The answer is, I have no idea, and despite pages and pages of research on why toddlers act the way they do, I don't think the experts really know either. So I just try and take solace in the fact that it's "normal" behavior, or as normal as ripping off your diaper and peeing on the bathroom floor can really be considered.

One topic, however, still has me stumped. The Great TV Debate of the 21st Century is one for the books. The AAP says I'm a bad parent if I allow my pre-two-year-old child to watch any television at all, but the 2008 study on the topic shows only a slight correlation between "non-violent" television programs and attention deficit disorders (and no significant correlation for educational programming). So, experts, I pose to you this question: What. The. Hell? It's hard enough to navigate parenthood without the overwhelming over-knowledge we all seem to have about child rearing these days, but did you really have to make it harder by placing such a broad, yet strict, recommendation on the only past time that gives me five minutes of solace in my day as a SAHM? And then, to make matters worse, you tell me research is limited? Ay yi yi.

In my moment of complete confusion, I did what any rational parent would do: I began to peruse message boards to see what other parents were doing. Whether or not the responses would allow me to justify a little TV time during the day, perhaps it would at least provide research that would make me feel guilty enough not to do it at all. But alas, I came up with a whole slew of parents that seemed just as confused as I (and the occasional self-righteous mom or dad who felt the need to condemn us all for subjecting our children to Sesame Street).

Just as I was about to pull all of my hair out and simultaneously cry about clearly being an awful parent who just wants to cuddle with my son for 15 minutes a day (because he's constantly moving otherwise), the most amazing thing happened. My son got up off of his perch on the couch after only 12 minutes of Sesame Street, closed the entertainment center doors, pointed at the television and said "off." I paused.

While I was busy worrying that I had turned my child into a television fiend because I let the TV act as background noise in our otherwise too-quiet house a little too often, he had proven to me that I was wrong. That simple little action made me swell with pride. I was able to relax a little. Even if I let him my son wouldn't be content to waste away in front of the television all day long. He prefers playing outside, reading the same book 15 times in a row and chasing his dog around the house screaming at the top of his lungs. He'll be ok.

I always marvel at how some days my son seems to give me exactly what I need without me saying a word. It took no direction, no less-than-subtle prodding. He just knew that at that moment in time I needed to know I hadn't ruined him. At least not yet. I did however, give him a cookie for making mom so happy.

- N.