New moms are a crazy breed.

I don't post anything opinionated on my social media pages because people are crazy. I'm careful not to post anything that could even sound like a personal opinion because clearly someone would be offended. I could post that I like blue socks more than green socks and I'm sure it would somehow offend someone. It's ridiculous.

I'll never forget when my aunt told me she doesn't comment on anybody's posts about parenting because she's afraid of the backlash she will receive. It boggles my mind how every new mother is an expert on parenting. I get it. We all probably read the same books, blogs and studies. We all know mold can grow in the boogie bulbs we get from the hospital, which is why we should use nose frieda, or that vaccinations are good for you - no bad for you - no good for you again.. "back to sleep" is the most used phrase in the hospital and there is only one way to get your child, who is no doubt a carbon-copy of every other child, to sleep. And you know how because it worked for you so it will work for me, too. It's exhausting.

I accept that everyone has their own opinions when it comes to parenting, but they are just that. No matter how rooted in scientific fact they are, what you decide to do for and with your child is a personal preference.

I can't understand how moms get so up in arms about how other people decide to parent their children. I will be chastised for giving my baby a binky (and he just might be one of those kids who still has it as a toddler). I'm sure I will hear words about how I vaccinate my child and on what schedule. I have already been judged for letting my baby sleep through the night (shouldn't you wake them?!). And perhaps the biggest issue of all - I will be criticized not only for how, why, when, where and who (ok maybe not who) I breastfeed by those who do, and don't.

I'm a proponent of breastfeeding. I personally think it's important (add this to my list of crunchy mother characteristics). But it's just that. I think it's important, therefore I do it.

I've found that society likes to make those who breastfeed feel awful. (However I will add that it seems society also likes to make those who formula feed feel awful, I just have less personal experience with this). Like it should be a secret. I speak openly about breastfeeding. I'll even breastfeed in front of you (with a cover, of course). Yet I still am unsure of breastfeeding in public because I hate the judgement I get from the people who have decided it's not okay to breastfeed your child. That it is somehow dirty or inappropriate or wrong, when it is the most natural thing you can do for your child. I'll never understand how society has morphed my child's food source into some terrible taboo thing that should not be seen. It's gross.

As if that isn't enough, sharing the fact that I breastfeed in a public forum is also apparently taboo. I actually had a mother tell me that posting an article about the positive side effects of breastfeeding was offensive to her because she chose not to breastfeed. What?!

And not only am I judged by those who don't breastfeed.. but then there's the judgement from those who do breastfeed, yet do it differently. Those who think you should do it in public vs. those who think you shouldn't. Those who nurse exclusively vs. those who pump and bottle feed as well or ven exclusively. The truth is, these people's opinions shouldn't make me feel bad. They shouldn't even matter. But sometimes I catch myself questioning my own parenting - am I doing something wrong? Could I be doing better for my son? And it sucks. Why do us mothers, who should be sticking together, judge each other so harshly? We don't all do everything else the same, so why would we parent the same? And why is it not okay that we don't?

It's okay to have your own opinions about parenting, no one can take that away from you, but it's also okay for the mother next to you to do it totally different. So this is what I propose - why don't we all stop publicly shaming each other for our parenting decisions. Let's stop posting passive aggressive comments on our fellow parent's FB walls. If you have an opinion, keep it to yourself. Your fellow mothers should be your allies, especially all of us new moms that are just trying to figure this whole parenting thing out, not your enemies.

Part of the reason I have this blog is to talk about my pregnancy and parenting experiences. I can't do it on social media platforms because it will no doubt cause a huge uproar every time I make a post. I just wish I lived in a world where we could talk openly about these things without feeling the need to put down anyone who does it differently.

ok. #rantover.

- N.

Slightly Crunchy: giving in to some of the earth-preserving, "granola-esque" qualities that are often associated with mothers such as cloth diapering, breastfeeding and organic baby food-making, but without fully embracing the "make-your-own-clothes-wear-organic-deodorant-all-natural-everything" lifestyle.